#babybrothers

Relationships are a deathtrap for dependencies.

I’m not talking solely about romantic relationships, I’m talking the whole shebang: professional, friends, creative, family etc.

I’m not anti-relationship, I’m just pro-watch-out-for-developing-dependencies-in-your-relationship. When we put the key to our happiness in the pocket of others, we’re now at their mercy. Not all folks are looking to exploit the power they’ve been granted, but sh*t still tends to happen.

The most important relationship you have is with yourself, simple. Putting the responsibility of your smiles on anyone else will often lead to the opposite, and you have no one else to blame but yourself. This anti-victim mentality isn’t popular, because people don’t enjoy the onus, but it’s probably the only way to ensure a longstanding healthy ability to have meaningful relationships.

We’ve cheapened the word love to the point that it’s common for someone to say they love you, and then no longer mean it short time later; What is ever really love? Does a mother fall out of love with her child? If the dynamics of any relationship changes, what usually causes it?

One of those answers is expectations. The love we seek is generally riddled in conditions, but the fairytales make us feel that it’s unconditional. Respecting the fact that relationships are based on conditions may not be the most romantic, but it is the most realistic.

I encourage y’all to be independent, not because I want you to be, but because you already are. We’re born alone & die alone, and again, though that lacks the romance, ensuring you put your relationship with yourself first, will dramatically enhance your ability to have relationships with others.

Dependencies aren’t healthy, whether it be to a substance, idea, or another human being. In this sense, having/wanting less results in having more. I’m not an idealist, in our daily lives we have to depend on people for things to get done, but if we acknowledge the dependencies early, it cushions the blow dramatically if expectations aren’t met. It can also serve to motivate us to be in a position to further reduce the dependencies we can survive without.

I’m not advocating a life of complete isolation & simplicity. I’ve always had a life rich with people & complexity, but at the same time, I do find peace in simplifying & cleaning the clutter.

I also know if you’re not happy with yourself, nothing can fill that void to compensate.

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One Luv
Kanwer
Humble The Poet
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#truestory

Validation is a hellava drug.

It’s a consistency among us to have some concern about how we’re perceived by other people. It’s a bit too cliche & absolute to be like “I don’t give a f*ck what anyone thinks of me”, because really everyone cares. I do think however it’s a bit too intense to concern yourself with the thoughts of other’s, as they’re not really thinking about you as much as you think.

That mustard stain on your new shirt will not (and should not) be the make or break of your day. Sh*T happens, people drop food on their clothes. I’d be lying if I didn’t acknowledge the superficial world that exists, but the people we worry about, and also worried about what we think of them. Many of the people we encounter enjoy our company for the simple way we make them feel. In those instances, concerning ourselves with appeasing others is unnecessary.

Be yourself, not everyone is going to dig your style, your demeanor, or your overall energy; that’s OK. You’ll be better off with the few that like you for who you are, compared to having a grand sum of people who will only like if you if you become something else. Even amongst the thousands of people reading this posts, there are people that want me to be more than I am, I may lose them if I don’t make those changes, & I’m fine with that.

I don’t get a long with everyone, and everyone don’t get a long with me, life is too short to worry about that. Take the time to be around the people that enjoy your company, life can be enjoyed that way.

I watched an interview today with a musician who said “10% of ever group of people you’ll enjoy” doesn’t matter if they’re hipster or high society, if you put yourself out there you’ll find a tenth that you enjoy, so try it out.

I create/write/present things to the public, it’d be preposterous for me to get all “I’mma do me, y’all like or not, I don’t care”. I like listening to the folks that take the time to soak my stuff in. The feedback that agrees & enhances me gets worked in, the rest floats away with the wind.

Don’t worry about what other’s think because there’s too many of them to cater to. Worry about being comfortable in your own skin & those who appreciate that will connect.

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One Luv
Kanwer
Humble The Poet
Follow Me: http://Twitter.com/humblethepoet
http://brwnppl.com/humblethepoet
Blogs at http://bit.ly/XSw74x

El-Hajj Malik El-Shabazz
#malcolmx #detroitred

I went to a funeral today. The gift of another’s passing is the reminder of the life you have remaining. Make the most of it, you can’t get these moments back.

#slumbeautiful #nofilter #art #inspiration

#nolimits

Only boring people get bored.

Though I’m not immune to clutches of procrastination, there’s never an absence of things there do. The idea of boredom is a luxury, and is generally a byproduct of leisure time.

An easy boredom killer is…. wait for it… trying something new (I know, pretty revolutionary). You don’t know if you would enjoy something unless you tried it, and you can only try it if you’re open to it. Being open to trying new things, though sometimes daunting, is the best way to broaden the world around you.

Sometimes we may mistaken boredom for the discomfort that some folks feel being by themselves. If you can improve your relationship with yourself, you’ll not only experience boredom much less, but you’ll also look forward to having regularly scheduled alone-time.

Find new things to be excited about, whether that’s reading a book, cooking a meal, or doing something creative. Every moment is a blessing you spend once & never have again, make the most of it.

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One Luv
Kanwer
Humble The Poet
http://brwnppl.com/humblethepoet
Blogs at http://bit.ly/XSw74x

#anywhere

#ass #booty #love #hashtagabuse

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it solely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men & things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the Earth all of one’s lifetime” My Nigga Mark Twain

There’s no competition when you want to help others.

There’s no application process, limited spaces, or ‘dog eat dog’ mentality to simply help someone else. When you want to help yourself, it becomes an entirely different story.

Helping someone doesn’t require establishing an organization, it doesn’t require a celebrity endorsement, or even a Facebook page. It only requires you to get up and start helping. I met a photographer at a wedding who donates 50% of his entire salary to those in need. He’s not in a financial stable condition, he simply stated “If I wait till I am, it’ll never happen”.

Helping isn’t simply donating. For some, it can be raising awareness, others it can attending protest, or getting your hands dirty on the front line. Everyone has their own definition of what it means to help, and that’s OK. The myriad of tasks all make an impact.

Some folks want to save the rainforest, others want to ensure children have clean drinking water, others want to save the whales, while others want to end violence against women. Some only find inspiration when those in need, have something in common with them. Not everyone connects with the hunger situation in Africa, or are even aware the hunger situation is worse in the subcontinent of India, that’s not going to change anytime soon. Whatever cause touches you, do it up, hopefully the ones that don’t will have folks on them as well.

I think ‘selfless’ is a myth when it comes to helping. We still tend to lean towards the causes & tasks that give us the little fuzzy feeling inside, that’s fine. I think it’s an issue when we start to impose our views on others. If someone else doesn’t share your enthusiasm towards preserving the pyramids, don’t bang your fists, just do your thing.

The impact you create is the impact you create. The opinions of others are irrelevant to this. Don’t be guilt-tripped into supporting something you’re heart isn’t into. Everyone is guided by self-interests, and though that doesn’t sound very romantic, it’s still very accurate. Don’t feel obligated to cater to the interests of others, handle yours.

Whatever causes you choose to support, please explore it first. There’s plenty of folks (like the KONY campaign) that will exploit the suffering of others for profit. The situations are never simple in black & white. There’s rarely a clearly defined good guy & bad guy. Get educated, and find the best use of your energy to create impact you want to create.

It doesn’t have to be grand, helping folks can be as simple as opening doors or taking the time to lend an ear, or sharing a smile.

I’d love to hear your ideas about helping

if you enjoyed this, please click [REBLOG]

**FREE eBook coming on My Birthday (July 12)
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One Luv
Kanwer
Humble The Poet
http://brwnppl.com/humblethepoet
Blogs at http://bit.ly/XSw74x

Happy Birthday Good Sir

This is my former friend Big-Juggy… 10 months ago Juggy decided he wanted a new life & devoted a significant amount of his time & energy to diet & fitness. Big Jug is no longer a friend, because he’s been replaced by Fit-Juggy @juggydhanjal . Although We’re not having late night pizza sessions no more, I don’t miss Big-Jug at all. Follow @juggydhanjal to see his amazing & ongoing transformation. Proud of you brother :)